Save 38%

Emotional Support Brick

Never judges. Never leaves. Extremely reliable.

Save 35%

Portable Existential Crisis

Question everything, anywhere.

Save 31%

Slightly Haunted Air Fryer

Perfectly crispy food. Occasionally whispers your name.

Save 33%

Emergency Third Arm

For people who need an extra hand but refuse to ask.

Save 50%

Dehydrated Water

100% pure powdered void. Just add water and stir.

Save 41%

Indoor Pet Rock Leash

Keep your stone from wandering off the rug.

Save 43%

Silent Alarm Clock

Zero beeping. One sudden, cold arc of regret.

Save 27%

Indoor Thunderstorm Kit

A polite rumble for rooms that feel too quiet.

Save 32%

Vintage Worry Drawer

Holds concerns until Tuesday. Tuesday is not included.

Save 32%

Compliment Extinguisher

A fine mist of encouragement. Not for fires.

Save 25%

Broke Friend Financial Advisor

Gives terrible money advice from someone with $14 in their account.

Save 30%

Self-Stirring Spoon (Gives Up)

Stirs for forty seconds, then leans on the pot.

Save 32%

Midnight Snack Decoy

Looks like celery. Fools nobody, including you.

Save 33%

Companion Pebble

Pairs with your phone. Only plays songs it learned in a quarry.

Save 32%

Fog Machine for Awkward Silences

Fills the room so nobody has to admit the chat ended.

Save 30%

Infinite Bread Clip

Closes the bag. Opens a debate about whether bread can end.

Save 40%

Pocket Applause

A soft mechanical clap for finishing the dishes.

Save 28%

Confidence Sock (Left Foot Only)

The right foot is on backorder until you believe in it.

Save 40%

Left-Handed Handshake Trainer

Practice the grip, the smile, and the exit.

Save 29%

Participation Lawn Trophy

A plastic cup for grass that tried.

Save 38%

Folding Picnic Table for One

Seats you and a sandwich. Guests bring their own table.

Save 27%

Scheduled Patio Cloud

A small rain cloud with office hours.

Save 29%

Stapler That Files a Complaint

Staples the packet, then notes the font.

Save 26%

Desk Plant That Photosynthesizes Excuses

Water weekly. It turns sunlight into reasons you were late.

Save 29%

Common Sense Starter Kit

For that friend who's made it this far without any. Now with instructions.

Save 25%

Shut Up Button Pro

One press and your friend stops talking for 30 minutes. Works on coworkers too.

Save 29%

Ex-Boyfriend Recycling Bin

Turn your disappointing ex into something useful. Like a lamp.

Save 27%

Hangover Transfer Helmet

Transfer your hangover to the friend who convinced you to go out.

Save 27%

Delusion Detector 3000

Alerts you whenever your friend says, "I think they're into me."

Save 29%

Gym Personality Removal Kit

For people who made going to the gym their entire personality.

Save 31%

GPS for Misplaced Motivation

Recalculating. In 400 feet, consider a nap.

Save 30%

Professional Nap Certification Kit

Finally, a degree your unemployed friend can earn.

Save 25%

Walking Red Flag Detector

Beeps whenever your friend introduces you to someone they're dating.

Save 25%

Male Ego Inflator 5000

Inflates confidence by 400%. Actual abilities remain unchanged.

Save 26%

Monday Skipper

Pull the lever and Monday goes somewhere else.

Save 25%

Mirror That Lies

Always says you look great. Has never been checked.

Save 25%

Toilet Time Machine

Travel back five minutes. Flush responsibly.

Save 27%

Alien Baby Monitor

Watch the nursery. See what else is watching.

Save 25%

Dream Recorder VHS

Wear the headband. Sleep. Watch it Saturday on a tape.

Save 24%

Ceiling Fan Remote for the Moon

Adjusts lunar brightness from the couch. Batteries remain optimistic.

Save 25%

Countertop Crumb Aquarium

Displays forgotten crumbs in their natural habitat. Fish sold conceptually.

Save 22%

Automatic Meeting Lengthener

Adds twelve unnecessary minutes to every discussion. Productivity may leave early.

Save 24%

Backyard Horizon Extension Cord

Brings distant scenery slightly closer. Landscape not included.

Save 23%

Pet Doorbell for Indoor Pets

Lets pets announce their arrival from the next room. They will not wait.

Save 24%

Carry-On Layover Simulator

Recreates airport waiting anywhere. Departure remains politely delayed.

Save 23%

Office Supply Witness Protection Kit

Gives missing pens a convincing new identity. Coworkers suspect nothing.

Save 25%

Vitamin-Free Wellness Gummies

Delivers the ritual without measurable benefits. Strawberry-adjacent.

Save 24%

Inflatable Board Game Opponent

Sits across from you and disputes the rules. Victory feels administrative.

Save 23%

Suitcase Practice Weight

Prepares travelers for baggage they have not packed yet. Souvenirs become inevitable.

Save 42%

Lazy Gnome

Gardens are overrated anyway.

Save 40%

X-Ray Specs (Ex Edition)

You can't see through walls, only your ex's new life.

Save 38%

Pete the Repeat Parrot (Grudge Model)

He only repeats the dumbest thing you said in 2014.

Save 33%

Alien in a Jar

He wants to speak to your manager.

Save 33%

Money Printer

It prints your bills. Just bills. Every month.

Save 33%

Instant Friends

Just add water. Results not guaranteed.

Save 38%

Anxiety Buzzer

A handshake prank that makes you nervous.